Normally as I drive home from the last day of school, my mind has already begun planning next year. I am not sure why this is, but it happens every…single…year. I have just finished a school year that was memorable and unique for various reasons, but I am reflecting. My mind and heart are full of emotions. I have to walk in the door and write down my ideas immediately, so I will have them for next year. Maybe your brain thinks this way too. I don’t think I am the only teacher who does this, or at least I hope I am not the only one. Do you ask yourself questions about the past year, and do you do this at the end of every year? The year 2020 is memorable for reasons that no one could have ever predicted. This year, will I be planning for next year as I walk upstairs instead of driving home? I am not sure, but I have decided that I will be ready for the moment when the questions, ideas, and self-reflection begin.

This year is not normal. It is different. I am not driving home. I am home because I already drove home. I have been home since March 13, 2020. I haven’t been with my class since that same day. If only we had known that would be our last day together, I think our good-byes would have been different. We did say goodbye, but we thought we would see each other on Monday morning. This was the norm. This was the routine. This happened every week. “Have a great weekend. I will see you on Monday.” After packing up our classroom without my students this year, I can now say we certainly would have cleaned out our cubbies and desks! Hindsight is definitely 20/20 vision. I missed having their help. I think I like it better when they clean up their own messes as they usually do, yet that was not possible this year. Even though I had to do the cleaning, I liked thinking of them as I packed up their belongings and special things. It made me smile as I could see my students in my mind’s eye.

Right now there are too many questions and not enough answers. Will we be in the classroom again on the first day of school, or will we still be using distance learning? How do I plan for something that doesn’t fit my normal routines? I am a creature of habit, and I have well established routines for myself and for my students in my class. I have a few years under my belt now, and I know how to set up a classroom, but what should I plan for? I wonder if I should plan for a normal school beginning, or should I plan for more distance learning? This upsets my routine, and how will I adjust this summer? When we return to our classroom with four walls, will we be wearing masks? Will we be washing our hands frequently? Will we be taking temperatures as we enter the school room? How will I have to adjust my teaching? How will I develop a relationship with children I have never met? What questions are there to ask that we still don’t even know? Yes, the list can go on, but there are still too many questions and not enough answers. I also have to accept that I may not have the answers for a long time, and I will have to be flexible.

This is what I have decided to use so I can do a brain dump when it is time to do it. My brain needs me to write down what I want to remember. I will reflect on both online learning and being in my traditional classroom. I will write down what needs to be thought about, and I will write it in one place. Then I will print it off. I will keep it someplace safe so when I am ready to think about teaching school again, it will be ready for me. Since I wrote it down, I won’t be wondering what I wanted to remember. If I write it down now, I will know it is written down. I won’t have to wonder – what was I thinking? What did I need to remember? What did I want to try to do next year? It is recorded, and I will be ready for it when it is time to go back to what I need to recall. You can call me old-fashioned because I want to use a good piece of paper to write down my thoughts. Then I won’t wake up in the night and wonder what I wanted to remember as I drove home from school or walked upstairs on my last day of school. My future self is going to thank me for this even though it is simple. I will also add to it during those moments when inspiration happens during the summer. I will know where to record it, and it will not be lost on some random piece of paper. Yes, my future self will be grateful again.

Since I don’t have the answers, I have decided that I am not going to worry about it. This is a conscious and deliberate decision. I don’t want to spend my precious summer thinking about something I cannot control. Since I adjusted quickly to online learning, if I possibly have to do it, then I know I can do it again. I will do those things that I can control. I will spend time on relationships. I will devote my precious time to what matters most to me. I think we all have learned what is most important to us though this experience. We have found what we truly need and what we can’t live without. I would rather spend my time with my family and strengthening the relationships with those I love. This is one of the lessons that I have learned through COVID-19. This is something I want to continue after the new normal begins.

Now that we have all been through a few months of online learning, I have a few more answers than I had on March 13th. I have successfully set up an online classroom. It certainly wasn’t Pinterest worthy, but it had the most important elements. It had amazing students and a teacher. It still had our relationships. Although mine did not look like yours or anyone else’s classroom on social media, it worked for me and my learners. It was easy to get caught into the comparison game, but I quickly stopped myself. I was doing the very best I could and so was everyone else! Teachers around the world rapidly adjusted. It was incredible to watch and to experience!

During the pandemic I read a book by Susan Meissner for my book club called As Bright As Heaven. When the book was chosen last year for the book club 2020 list, no one knew we would be in a pandemic when it was time to read it. Little did we know how poignant it would be to read about everyone wearing masks. Will that be our new normal? When the Spanish Flu hit in 1918, they closed schools immediately. Although we may have had some short intermissions to allow for all of us to learn distance learning, our relationships with students didn’t end. Technology gave us gifts that we could never have experienced over one hundred years ago. Our online environments were not the same as our classrooms, but we could still be together as a class in a virtual setting. I choose to see this as a gift.

I looked forward to our daily Morning Meeting, and I believe that my students did also. We were able to do things during our virtual Morning Meetings that we could never do in our traditional classroom. We saw many pets and family members especially younger siblings, and these experiences connected us in a different way. Pets usually cannot come to school. I have heard my students talk about their younger siblings or family members that they love, but we were all able to see them. These were bonding experiences. I have often talked about the influence I have within the four walls of my school room. We were no longer in the school room. I was one teacher in my home, and I had twenty-one students in their own homes. Although we were no longer within the four walls of my classroom, we still needed to be together. Technology was the unique connection. Sometimes I have felt that technology has caused most of us to be less connected, but during the pandemic, ironically, it is what helped us keep our relationships. I appreciated it in a new way because it was how I joined with my students in a daily interaction.

This year I said goodbye with a teacher parade around the neighborhood. I decorated my car with green and yellow and white balloons because those are our school colors. One of my teammates rode with me, and my husband was our chauffeur. We were honking the horns, waving goodbye, and shouting “We miss you! We love you! Have a great summer!” This was our message of love since we couldn’t give our students the traditional hugs and high fives.  It was honking and waving only, but it gave us a way to end the year and provided a tiny bit of closure. It was different, but I actually really loved it. I wonder how we can do this again next year? Will we need to do a teacher parade again? Will next year’s ending be different? Will we be back to whatever the new normal is? Time will answer these questions. I can only make the best with what I have been given. 

Now it is time to relax and renew and reenergize for the upcoming year. Make sure you do things you enjoy that will fill your soul with beauty and strength. What can you do to strengthen you and make you better? What do you wish you could accomplish during the school year, but there isn’t ever quite enough time? I have a long mental list of things I want to do, but I also need to get these ideas on paper. Then I can plan and make these events happen. The hours go by so quickly. Most of the ideas are simple, but some of them are bigger ideas. I want to write these ideas down so that I can make them happen. I don’t want to get to the end of the summer and wonder what I did to refuel. 

I know that finding beauty in each day is on my list. The pandemic has helped me notice more than I was used to seeing. The daily demands of life sometimes block our views. We get so busy that we don’t realize what we are missing. The past few months have helped me focus on other things, and I am grateful for the things I have noticed. This has filled my soul with joy during an unprecedented time. I want to keep seeing what I have been missing as I return to our new normal. 

I don’t know where you live or what your circumstances are, but here are a few ideas to help you get started. This is my list, and I look forward to using it.  Perhaps you would like to adapt it and make some of it yours. I want to notice my natural surroundings and let them invigorate me. I look forward to sitting on the front porch at the end of a beautiful day. I want to take time to watch the sun come up and watch the sun go down.  I want to notice the roses in my garden and find more joy in them. I long to really stop and smell the daisies. Sitting in the hammock and reading a book is also on my list.  I am hoping for a summer rainstorm so I can splash in the puddles. Feeling the sand between my toes on the beach is another item on the list.  I want to hear the giggles of children at the pool. I am planning on many hikes to smell the pines and feel the breeze blowing through my hair. Yes, these ideas are simple, but they will rejuvenate me.

Although teaching online was some of the most difficult teaching I have ever done, it slowed my life down in some ways. I liked the simplicity of having everyone in my family home. I say simplicity, but it wasn’t really simple. I had three young adult college student children return to living at home to join my husband and me with one teenager. I thought earlier this year that I was getting closer to having an empty nest, but the pandemic gave me the gift of time with my precious children. I loved the evenings we sat together, we watched a movie, and we played some games. Since no one could have a social life, we had each other.  I liked that we had more time to be together because no one left the house. I liked that we had our meals together as we used to when everyone was young and still home. I liked that we were all together under one roof again. I even liked most of the noise except when I was trying to do our class Morning Meeting. 

Now as I reflect on the end of this school year, I am asking what I can keep that I learned from the pandemic and distance learning? What have I found out I don’t need that maybe has been weighing down my life, but I didn’t realize it until the pandemic? What experiences have helped me grow? What do I want to keep in my life? What do I want to give up? I want to keep the strengthened relationships. I want to keep the simplicity. I want to keep the beauty that was always there, but now I see I was missing it. The little things have gotten me through the pandemic so far. I will focus on these things that bring joy. These are the things that will renew me this summer. These are what will give me strength when it is time to return to school again. I may not have the answers for what the fall looks like, but I have the answers for what I want to keep doing to rejuvenate me and prepare me for whatever the future holds.

Are you going to reflect on the past school year? Where are you going to record your thoughts and ideas? As you are thinking about the upcoming summer break, what are you going to do to relax and renew and reenergize? I have created a paper that you can print off to write down your thoughts so you can have a place to record your ideas when they come to you. I hope you will enjoy recording what you learned in the classroom and online learning, what you want to keep doing in your classroom, what you want to keep doing that you learned from online learning, and what you want to remember for next year. My desire is that your list will also have many ideas that you can do to fill your soul with energy. Happy reflecting!! Happy summer vacation!!